Why are we so critical of ourselves and feel like a failure at times? We expect more of ourselves than we do of others. We allow that little voice in our head to tear us down. Even when we find that small voice to cheer us on, it’s not long before that a negative whisper works itself back in to say the opposite. Learn what to do when this happens to at least limit it.
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There are several things we can do and focus on to turn that inner negative voice down or off.
This is a mindset and when we’re busy, it is difficult to see the good things that happened that day. Instead, the things that we didn’t get done or that did not go as well as we hoped are what we tend to focus on.
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. “ – Melody Beattie
We need some quiet time to reflect on our day and force ourselves to come up with a few positives.
Each day has positive things, but some days it is more difficult to find than others. Keep searching until you find them. We must train ourselves and our brain to look for these and focus on them as much as we often focus on the not so good stuff.
It’s like our eyes are open, but we miss a lot.
Think about when you last saw a bird. Now, look for a bird today and if you’re outside for any time, you will probably see or hear one. We stay so busy that we don’t observe the obvious sometimes. Even when we’re still, our minds may not be in sync with our bodies. The mind is thinking about what needs to be done.
Keep a gratitude journal. By writing them down, you’ll be able to look back at them. You can use a notebook, a special journal, or simply just in your planner. Some planners have space for gratitude like these. These are special journals that may have inspirational quotes. Whatever works for you is good, the important thing is to find some quiet time in your day for this. I know that time is so precious, but this will refresh you. Find 5 minutes daily and squeeze more time in if you can.
Read this article How to Show Gratitude for more information.
If you’re like me, I tend to forget how long tasks take. I think a 4-hour task will only take 30 minutes. I’m setting myself up to think I failed by not allowing enough time. I’ve failed before I even started my day by not being realistic with the timing of tasks. We also need to add in life interruptions too. We can’t expect to be 100% productive on our to-do list. We wear so many hats, we’re going to have to switch hats multiple times within the day, so let’s plan our day accordingly.
We’re all given the same number of hours in a day, but it’s how we use it that makes a difference. Find some “me” time to pamper yourself. Do something just for yourself to feel refreshed. It’s hard to steer the boat when we’re exhausted.
It may be time to meditate, exercise, or just sit and be still. Time for yourself might be a bubble bath or getting a manicure or pedicure. What are your hobbies? Do you like doing jigsaw puzzles, word finds, or crossword puzzles?
The more time you can free up in your day, the more “me” time you can get. Track how much time you spend on certain tasks you do and see if that is how you want to spend it? It’s a matter of trade-offs when finding the time.
How much time do you spend watching TV? Do you know how much time you spend surfing the net or on social media? This may be an eye-opener.
Are we maximizing the time that we have by doing small tasks in the short time available? Or are we wasting all those 5 minutes that are available during the day? Utilize those 5 minutes here and 10 minutes here by having quick tasks that can be done then.
The more effective you are with the time and tasks that need to be done, the more time for “me” time.
“Burnout occurs when your body and mind can no longer keep up with the tasks you demand of them. Don’t try to force yourself to do the impossible. Delegate time for important tasks, but always be sure to leave time for relaxation and reflection.” – Del Suggs
We put too big of a to-do list on ourselves. It is not realistic that we’ll be able to get to all those tasks. Find the 2-3 most important tasks to do and focus on that. If time allows, you can do other things, but at least you’ll get to the things you have to do. The rest is lagniappe.
Break up the tasks into those that take longer and need to be scheduled to get accomplished, particularly if it is important. There are other tasks that can be done quickly and don’t need quiet time to get them done. Those can be done while waiting for a meeting or when there is 5 minutes between things.
Allow yourself time to plan if not daily, at least weekly. Planning helps us be ready for what needs to be done. When we’re more prepared, we feel better about ourselves.
“Set aside time to plan how you will spend your time. Think about what’s most important. Then do those things first.” – Frank Bettger
Don’t let what happened yesterday determine how you feel today or tomorrow. We can look back and see the life lessons, but we can’t dwell there.
Let go of the worry about what people think. Not everyone will like us. By worrying about it, we’ll just rob ourselves of precious time right now.
I love this prayer and refer to it often.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.” – Reinhold Niebuhr
This helps me to sort out if there is something I need to do and take action or if I need to just accept things and learn to deal with it.
Life will be difficult. It is not a matter of if it will be difficult, but instead when it is difficult. Often, mindset and a positive attitude will make difficult situations better.
We cannot control everything that happens, but we can control how we react to it.
Find your inspiration.
I love quotes (if you’re on our email list, you know that already), so having an area that has a few displayed brings me inspiration. It helps me feel better about the day, myself and reaching high for my goals. I love inspiration books that I can read sections quickly. While I would love to read more, time just doesn’t allow sometimes. Read this article on Inspiration Quotes to Live By for more of my favorites.
I find inspiration in short quotes too and so I have t-shirts that say various inspirational things on it like these. I recently treated myself to a hand-stamped charm necklace because it brings me happiness and is a great reminder when I look down at it. If you’re interested in this type of inspiration, click here to see some of the things you can get.
This is a picture of my necklace that is my inspiration on the go for me.
These are a few inspirational quotes to reflect on.
“Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” – Roy T. Bennett
“Do not let the memories of your past limit the potential of your future. There are no limits to what you can achieve on your journey through life, except in your mind.” – Roy T. Bennett
“The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.” – C. Joy Bell C.
“Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart.” – Roy T. Bennett
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk healthy, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”
-Christian D. Larson
Other inspiration can be fresh cut flowers. You don’t have to spend a lot to have flowers. Buy them at the grocery store and choose flowers that last longer. Roses are pretty, but they don’t last as long as daisies, carnations, chrysanthemums, or sunflowers. Pick flowers from your yard and admire them both inside and outside.
Pictures of your loved ones or a beautiful place may be your inspiration.
Vision boards are a way to keep track of what brings you happiness and your dreams.
Sitting in the sunlight may be another way to feel refreshed.
Being out in nature is a good way to hit restart too and be unplugged from the internet or social media.
Reading is a good way to escape for some.
Music is a big motivation for many people. This is one of my favorites too.
Journaling is a great outlet. You can make this part of your daily routine.
Art is a great way to express yourself and give you motivation and inspiration in your world.
Exercising, meditation or yoga are ways to feel better about yourself. Even if you don’t like exercising, once you finish, when it’s over, you feel refreshed and feel accomplished.
It may be having a clean sink with no dirty dishes in it before you go to bed at night.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Give yourself grace. Quite that inner voice that tears you down. You are stronger, braver, and more beautiful than you know. Find ways that work the best for you to bring you to a happier mindset.
Life will have valleys and hills and it’s how we respond that impacts how we feel.
To see more information regarding overcoming the guilt of wearing the many hats we wear, click here How to Overcome Guilt and Live Intentionally.
Learn ways to not be as critical of yourself. Keep a gratitude journal, be a realist about how long tasks will take and how long the to-do list is. Prioritize the list to do the important things. Find things that bring inspiration to you. Take time to find some “me” time so that you can recharge and feel refreshed. We do a lot of great things, we just need to remind ourselves!!
“Believe in yourself, you are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine.” – Roy T. Bennett